Saturday, August 15, 2009
no need to say who gave me kan? haha.
boy dont i feel pampered!! asyik dapt cincin jer. hehe. but i love this one. the diamond bigger than the SK nyer. hehe.
he made me guess what his new love coupon was abt. i couldnt come out with anything. boy was i shocked when he took out the box from his pocket. i was like OMG!! already smiling but i was like OMG!! haha. he opened and i went OMG! hehe. i wouldnt have thought he bought me a ring. like we've been dating for only 1 month and he bought me a diamond ring from citigems??
as usual, i'll bug him with questions tho he set rules that im not allowed to ask. but i got my ans anyway. i felt bad lor!! like seriously.. the ring already made me feel bad. the price made me feel worse!! its 290 bucks. like hello!! thats like alot to spend on me??! i could have bought that samsung MP3 lor. hahah.
he bought it after watching movie with Wan n Kelvin. his female friend help him choose, Yuwen. hehe. he asked me when we first met if im angry with him for asking me to take out hamad's ring. said no lah. now he bought me a new one. haha. like wad... then asked him why. he said, just want to make me happy. hehe. i laughed before commenting that i must have been a really sad person that he had to spend 290 just to make me happy! hahah.
still have not recovered from shocked. hehe. kept staring on the ring on my finger. tho ive to keep it away from ibu lah. hehe. he said later ibu ask how? true. so yah. anyway, need to get it resized coz its huge on my boney finger! hahah. man... so unexpected. honestly didnt see that coming.
tho its making me feel very bad. like what have i done to deserve all this. what if he knows my past. will it change things? i know now that ive to try my best to make this work. its not fair to let it be one sided. he's done alot for me. its time i do the same.
anyway, bumped into Wan at whitesands while i was having lunch alone at BK. haha. his face, PRICELESS!! hehe. should have taken a snapshot lah! hahaha. funny lor. and i laughed alone. looked so bodoh! hehe.
bumped into my student as well. and my cheerleading girls called. finally they got their medals! haha. too bad i wasnt there to be part of it. tho i could lah since ive no lesson today. but yah.. tak invite, takkan nak dtg jer. heheh..
klah. shall try and sleep. been a long day.
nites world! =)
the end.
Monday, August 10, 2009
tot i have a nap from 4 to 5. but woke up at 6.30 instead. dunno why so lethargic today. maybe coz puasa and tak sahur. hehe. but anyway, super bloated now. *burp* alhamdulilah =)
will have to update some police matters and so we can submit the claim to court. seriously, im tired of doing this. haiz.
today is my last day of freedom! haha. not bad lah. been spending time with friends and bones. i so enjoyed our outdoor monopoly game! hahah. we should do it again. hehe.
i think i might be able to work things out with bones now. i realised that he really do care and is really sincere of his feelings. been meeting him quite often past few days. the board game, the car ride on the day he passed the test, national day. i enjoyed his company. every chance he got, he'll try to meet me. even if its just to accompany me buy a printer. haha. or having only 1.5 hours to spend with me national day night. an excuse to meet me he says. he's meeting me again tom after i end sch. sanggup travel all the way to NIE. haha. funny boy.
and he felt touched that i actually removed the ring from my finger. he was smiling like an idiot. haha. but i feel, i owe him that much after all that he's done for me. i still wouldnt say the word love. its too soon. but i will give him a chance.
alrighty then, back to work! =)
the end.
omg! nervous! scared!
aaarrrgghhhh!!!
im so freaking bored at home. haiz. can someone please date me out!? haha..
oh yes!! watching The Proposal with Wan!! cant wait! wanted to watch it back in Aussie but didnt got time to do so. I is cant wait!! =)
should probably do my tutorial now but kinda lazy.... hehe. man.. gotta buck up! im really nervous. afraid. oh God please help me.
my time-table super rilek!! =)
oh whee!! no sch on friday!! hahaha! rilek pe.. friday will be my dating-with-friends-or-bf day, my gym day, facial day and my driving day. huahuahua...
okay.. shall go watch tv.. maybe 5pm then will get started on things. hehe.
the end.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
he doesnt know my blog and i rather not him know.
i cried.
yes. i cried.
im spring cleaning. getting a new cupboard to replace the old. and come across to old love letters from hamad. first, a folder filled with his love poems,songs and letters. i stared at it. my heart went weak. i felt like crying but held back my tears. moved on to clean some more junk. found more letters. i opened one. and another. and another. then, tears. just like that. i cried. for about 3 mins. then i stopped. coz fadzli still online with me. he's already upset with me for feeling like crying when i saw the notes (he made me promise not to read the letters but i cant help it!) and for still wearing the ring.
him: haiz...gonna read?
me: staring at it..
him: please dont...
me: so tempted.. =(
him: theres no point... will only make u feel sad, emo, cry. why... why are u still doing this....
when asked if he's bothered about what fahrul said abt me deserving a better guy,
he said: more bothered by the ex thingy...
him: please dont be angry. but y u stil wearing the ring...
told him why...
him: okay...
me: upset?
him: can i say yes...
me: be honest
him: yes...
me: what can i do to make u feel better? again, be honest
him: not wear it? its not like i'm not understanding or i'm easily jealous or wad. even eunice teguh u abt it... any guy would be upset. alrite, i'm any guy in this case...
me: hmm.. okay..
omg. whats freaking wrong with me??!
god. i feel like crying again. why god!? help me please.
maybe i need to go thru a lie detector test. i need to know my honest true feelings at this moment. its killing me! i want to move on but i cant!! even without reading the letters, im still doubting myself to be in a relationship. i lost hope.
i cant do this. im weak. i really am.
the end.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
i know he's avoiding me lah. it doesnt take a genius to figure that out. but its so sad that something so childish can cause a friendship to rock. really says alot. MISS YOU PPL!!
please please date me out before i start sch!! nanti aku dah kat NIE lagi bercinta nak jumpa korang. =(
anyway.. i miss my kids!! god!
the day i left, i got a phonecall from Kristen. "Hello Miss Diyana!!" omg. so cute lah she. bumped into her yesterday also.
and got an MMS from Puteri's mum. haha. nie pun lagi satu cutie. she told her mum that im going to be on a midnight flight to go overseas to study. so of coz her mum msged me lah. haha. and then she sent me the mms. shes so pretty!! such a doll! =)
this is why teaching is such a rewarding job. kids remember you and silly things that they do that can make you laugh till u cry at times. hehe. ok i admit i do have favourites lah. but to those i hate, its tough love. hehe. im stricter with them coz i know they are just out to annoy me. hehe. yes.. miss diyana garang okay. haha. got parents commented i am. the malay teachers also say i garang. hahah. oh well. P1s must be strict! thats when they learn the most.
and yes.. by now ppl dah tau i have a bf. haha. so hows it so far? oklah.. he's really nice. always making me laugh. of coz lah.. honeymoon period kan? haha. but to really say ive feelings for him, still a no. i mean like the feelings i had for hamad. or azman. not yet at least. but i guess, this things will grow right? if not pun, i guess, i should be glad that at least theres someone out there who likes me. haha. at times i miss my single life. coz being single is really the best lah! especially if u have a busy life like mine. hehe. but he's been great. really caring. accompanied me to A&E at night tho he had to work the morning shift the next day. mane2 i want to go, he want to teman me and send me. tho being me, im independant that i can do things on my own lah. but oklah. we'll see how things goes. maybe should just let nature takes its course. his 3rd time asking me to be his gf. hehe. never give up right? =)
I guess, its better for someone to love you more than you love that person. more in my case rather. seriously, lost hope in finding happiness in love. after all those heartbreak. at least now, not much expectations. i'll grow to love maybe. but it takes time.
the end.